{"id":473,"date":"2023-07-31T16:37:41","date_gmt":"2023-07-31T20:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jerrykuntz.org\/harryhill\/?p=473"},"modified":"2023-07-31T16:37:44","modified_gmt":"2023-07-31T20:37:44","slug":"tom-kinsella-tours-the-hempstead-jail-published-mar-8-1885","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jerrykuntz.org\/harryhill\/tom-kinsella-tours-the-hempstead-jail-published-mar-8-1885\/","title":{"rendered":"Tom Kinsella Tours the Hempstead Jail [published Mar. 8, 1885]"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Thomas Kinsella, Editor and Congressman<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cTom\u201d Kinsella, the late politician and journalist of Brooklyn, was neither romantic nor funny as a rule, but in the commencement of his career, in and around the City of Churches, he figured in one little episode of a rather out of the way and serio-comic description. He tried his hand once at descriptive writin\u2019, and determined to \u201cdo\u201d personally the villages of Long Island lyin\u2019 around Brooklyn, as a means of attractin\u2019 attention and subscribers to his paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      He took it into his head that he had somethin\u2019 of the Dickens in him, and that he would give it full scope by personally seein\u2019 what was to be seen in these Long Island villages, and writin\u2019 up what he saw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      So he selected Jamaica to begin his operations in. He, however, didn’t see much there, but made the most of what he did see, and then tramped on to the next place and wrote that up, and so on. He went about on foot, because it was cheaper than goin\u2019 any other way, and, besides, he saw more of the places and the people that way. But this walkin\u2019 had one serious objection to it: the people were likely to mistake the pedestrian for the tramp, and treat him accordin\u2019ly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cTom\u201d hadn’t calculated on that, and yet he got more experience from bein\u2019 mistaken for a tramp than he did from all his investigations as a reporter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      In the course of his travels he struck that peculiar suburb of Brooklyn, called Hempstead, then a regular old-fashioned country place, which, for all the life and enterprise in it, might have been located three hundred miles in the interior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Just at the time he struck Hempstead, a number of mysterious robberies, none of \u2018em very big, but very annoyin\u2019, had struck it, too, and had caused an intense stir in the sleepy old place. I am not sure, on the whole, but that the majority of the population of Hempstead\u2013that is, that part of it which had not suffered loss from robberies\u2013did not secretly regard these mysterious burglaries, etc., as \u201cblessin\u2019s in disguise,\u201d for they gave \u2018em something to talk about and kept \u2018em from dyin\u2019 of stagnation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The majesty of the law in Hempstead was represented by one \u201csquire\u201d and two \u201cconstables,\u201d who were, of course, mightily exercised about these mysterious robberies, and who, though they didn’t know anythin\u2019 about \u2018em, went about lookin\u2019 as if absolutely in danger of burstin\u2019 with sternly repressed intelligence, in regard to \u2018em.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The regular police force of Brooklyn took a hand in tryin\u2019 to get at the bottom of these robberies; and, of course, their efforts in this direction were looked upon alike with apprehension and disgust by the official three of of Hempstead. These last regarded the robberies as essentially a \u201cHempstead funeral,\u201d a \u201clocal\u201d affair, and didn’t want any interlopers rushin\u2019 in and tryin\u2019 to deprive \u2018em of the laurels which were waitin\u2019 for \u2018em when they had unearthed the robbers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The Brooklyn police, for their part, looked upon the Hempstead officials as country louts, and duffers, and didn’t pay the slightest attention to \u2018em, nor recognize \u2018em in any way. So the blood was bad between \u2018em.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The Brooklyn officers made arrests right and left; made a good many more arrests than they did discoveries; in fact, all the discoveries that they made were that the arrest they made were all wrong. This riled the Hempstead police and people to fever heat, and they began to look upon a Brooklyn detective with more disfavor than they would have looked upon the robbers \u2018emselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      At this stage of the situation came \u2018Tom\u201d Kinsella on the scene, and made his entry on foot into Hempstead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      At that particular time every stranger in Hempstead was regarded with suspicion, either as a possible \u201cmysterious robber\u201d or a Brooklyn policeman, and \u201cTom\u201d was at once taken for either and both of these objectionable characters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cTom,\u201d at first was unaware of this, and went about the place in his rovin\u2019, free and easy manner, askin\u2019 all sorts of questions of all sorts of people, getting points for his descriptive article. This sort of proceedin\u2019, of course, made him look all the more suspicious. And by night time, before he had been in the place twelve hours, he was a marked man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Now nobody can be a \u201cmarked man\u201d long without knowin\u2019 it, least of all in a place of the caliber of old Hempstead. So Kinsella, who up to supper time had forgotten himself altogether in his eagerness for his descriptive work, began to see, after supper, that his rather unusual style of goin\u2019 about had been remarked. And bein\u2019 very quick of apprehension, he soon came to the conclusion that owin\u2019 to the mysterious robbery, of which he had already been told, here and there, he was looked upon as a \u201cdoubtful\u201d character, perhaps as a rogue and robber. This rather tickled Tom, and he determined to carry out the mistake as a good joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      So, in the bar room of the old tavern, after supper, he darkly hinted at crimes and criminals and, used a little \u201ccrooked\u201d slang which he had got from the Rogues Lexicon<\/em>, and did a little mysterious business generally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      This settled it. The three Hempstead officials had already been studyin\u2019 him up; but had been divided in opinion concernin\u2019 him\u2013one of the constables previously insistin\u2019 that he was really a Brooklyn detective, puttin\u2019 up a job. But after Tom’s after-supper mysterious hints, all three came to the conviction that the mysterious stranger was in some way connected with the mysterious \u201cgang\u201d of thieves who had been robbing Hempstead, and it was unanimously resolved to arrest him on suspicion. True, there was no real evidence against him to warrant the arrest; but the Brooklyn Police hadn’t waited for evidence. Besides, if they should find that they had made a mistake this time, why, it would only be what the Brooklyn Police had done many times already, and then the Brooklyn Police needn\u2019t know anything about it. The mistake, if mistake it should prove, could be kept quiet. So it was resolved to arrest the mysterious stranger that very night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But who was to arrest him? Of course it wasn’t the \u201csquire’s\u201d place to make an arrest. True, he was the \u201cchief of the police,\u201d but on this occasion he regarded himself as ex-officio\u2013only chief \u201cby courtesy.\u201d He reluctantly (!) relinquished all the active work of arrestin\u2019 to the two constables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      And the younger of the two constables, taking the cue from the \u201cchief,\u201d likewise reluctantly (!) relinquished the chance of making the arrest in favor of his older and more experienced colleague, who was professionally entitled to the honor\u2013if any, and the danger\u2013if any.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Now the \u201colder and more experienced colleague\u201d was as chicken-hearted a constable as any rogue could have desired; but now it was \u201cdo or die\u201d with him. This was the \u201cchance of a lifetime.\u201d So when Tom, suspectin\u2019 what was up, and anxious to start the fun, left the tavern about nine o\u2019clock for a \u201cwalk before goin\u2019 to bed,\u201d as he said, the \u201colder and more experienced\u201d constable started out at his heels, with the other constable at his heels again, and the \u201cchief of the police\u201d stoppin\u2019 cautiously along at the heels of the second constable, and all the human contents of the barroom treadin\u2019 on the heels of the chief\u2013quite a procession\u2013of which \u201cTom\u201d pretended to be utterly oblivious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Tom walked, the constables walked, the chief walked, the procession walked. Finally, wantin\u2019 to hurry up the fun, Tom stopped walkin\u2019. All the rest stopped\u2013the younger and less experienced constable gettin\u2019 safe behind a big tree in the vicinity, the chief gettin\u2019 behind the constable and the procession gettin\u2019 behind the chief, all further and further from the mysterious stranger and the possible danger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Then, pluckin\u2019 up what courage he had about him, the \u201colder and more experienced\u201d constable touched Tom lightly on the arm. The touch wouldn’t have harmed a baby. The suspected criminal at once resigned himself, with a really suspicious readiness, without makin\u2019 any fuss, into the hands of justice. Tickled beyond measure at his success (and almost as much surprised at it), the constable led Tom towards the combined lock-up and court-house; and now, that there was goin\u2019 to be no trouble, the other constable and the chief of the police and the rest of the procession came from behind the trees and from behind each other and marched proudly along towards the court-house and the jail, only this time the chief of police resumed his rightful place, and walked majestically in front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Before Tom and his escort got to the combined court-house and lock-up three-fourths of the population of Hempstead was in the streets, or rather street (there was but one that amounted to anythin\u2019), following in the wake of the procession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Arrivin\u2019 at the log hut in the rear of the tavern which answered the purpose of a city hall, the squire, with an overwhelmin\u2019 air of judicial dignity, took his seat on the bench\u2013literally an old \u201cbench\u201d which was placed in front of the desk in that portion of the log cabin which answered the purpose of a court-house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      He put on an air as if he had never set eyes on the stranger before. \u201cWhat is this man accused of?\u201d he asked of the constables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But he couldn’t have asked a more embarrassin\u2019 question. What the deuce was the man accused of, anyway? Nothin\u2019 but walkin\u2019 around, askin\u2019 questions and talkin\u2019 mysteriously\u2013none of \u2018em offenses against the law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Hempstead circa 1840. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

      At last, the arrestin\u2019 constable managed to trump up some sort of case against the man arrested, and with ponderous solemnity the old squire asked the \u201cprisoner at the bar\u201d, or wherever he was, all manner of questions about himself, which Tom answered in a darkly vague way, purposely makin\u2019 misstatements and contradictions, which led the officials to think more and more that they were on the brink of some startlin\u2019 discovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But if they were on the brink, they never got beyond it; for with all Tom’s desire to horrify and mystify \u2018em, all that could really be proved was that the arrested man was an individual who was apparently engaged in some business or occupation which he didn’t feel like makin\u2019 public. All the attempts to connect \u201cTom\u201d with any of the recent robberies utterly failed, and for a very peculiar though sufficient reason. \u201cTom\u201d in his present mood was perfectly willin\u2019 to pose as a \u201crobber.\u201d If he had only known the facts connected with the robberies, he would have shaped his replies so as to have associated himself with \u2018em; but, not knowin\u2019 anythin\u2019 about the details or the local points, why, of course he couldn’t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Tom Kinsella, bein\u2019 innocent, tried as hard to seem guilty, as ever a guilty man did to seem innocent, but in vain. Spite of all the constables\u2019 efforts to convict him, and spite of all his efforts to convict himself, he couldn’t manage to be found guilty. All that could be charged against him was that his account of himself was not consistently satisfactory, as it certainly wasn’t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      In the course of his examination a search was made of his person, which Tom submitted to with readiness, and a toothpick, some theater seat coupons, a pocket comb, some clippin\u2019s and ten dollars in money happened to be found on him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      As soon as the officials saw these ten dollars they had a private caucus among \u2018emselves, the results of which were soon embodied in the address delivered by \u201cthe learned judge,\u201d squire and chief of the Hempstead police, to the suspected individual at the bar of justice. \u201cAfter due deliberation you are found guilty,\u201d said the magistrate, \u201cof being a suspicious character, and as you can’t give any satisfactory account of yourself, you are hereby fined\u201d (here the magistrate hesitated a moment, he was on the point of sayin\u2019 \u201cten,\u201d but he divided by two) \u201cfive dollars, or in default of payment go to the county jail, and be imprisoned therein for ten days.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The Squire thought of course this settled it; that the suspected man would only be too glad to get out of jail and the village by handin\u2019 over a fiver, which would be very acceptable in the low state of the Hempstead public exchequer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But to his surprise and consternation, the suspected man, contrary to all expectations and precedent, refused to pay his fine, and prefered the alternative of goin\u2019 to jail. This jail business was just what Kinsella was after. It would not only be an adventure, but would enable him to learn all about the place and people; it would give him somethin\u2019 to write up; it was the very thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The Squire could hardly believe his ears, but Tom reiterated his refusal to pay and his readiness for prison. \u201cIn consideration of your youth and inexperience, young man,\u201d said the judge, benignly, a moment later, \u201cthe court reduces your fine to three dollars, only three dollars, or ten days in jail.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But rather than pay the paltry three dollars, the hardened wwretch before the bar of justice preferred the shame and confinement of a prison, although he had more than three times the fine in his clothes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      This was a disgustin\u2019 exhibition of the meanness of human nature, and the constables blushed for their sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      They also blushed with embarrassment for another reason. The village of Hempstead was poor, and economical, and taxes were low. Now to keep a prisoner ten days in the jail would require at least twenty meals for him, and the village would be taxed for the twenty meals. Then there would have to be a little fire, and above all, as the \u201clock-up\u201d was only so in name, somebody would have to watch the prisoner night and day to see that he stayed \u201clocked up,\u201d and you may be sure that neither the old nor the young constable hankered after this job, especially as Tom was then quite muscular and vigorous and could have made things lively for anybody who wanted to keep him in if he wanted to get out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      So there was another pow-wow between the three officials, the crowd generally bein\u2019 before this sent off and waitin\u2019 outside, so as not to disturb justice in its deliberations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Then, after the second pow-wow, the judge redelivered the sentence of the court, modifyin\u2019 it once more:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cYou must either pay a fine of $2 or be imprisoned for a fortnight,\u201d said the magistrate, decreasin\u2019 the fine and increasin\u2019 the penalty so as to produce an impression on the culprit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      But still the obdurate and shameless rascal refused to pay and preferred the jail. He evidently didn’t value his freedom at $2.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Then the Hempstead officials had still another pow-wow, and the judge issued his fourth ultimatum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \u201cYoung man,\u201d he said solemnly, \u201cit is the sentence of this court that you pay a fine of $1 or be imprisoned in the county jail at this place for the period of thirty days.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      By thus putting the money at a minimum and the time at a maximum the officials made sure that they had got rid of the now troublesome \u201csuspect\u201d and got a dollar besides. But once more they reckoned wrong. With the air of a Hampden defyin\u2019 a Charles I, or any other tyrant, with the demeanor of an innocent martyr surrenderin\u2019 his liberty for the right, the \u201csuspect\u201d refused to shell out his dollar, and asked to be led to jail, absolutely clamorin\u2019 to be confined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      This was somethin\u2019 terrible. What on earth was to be done? The squire looked at the constables, the constables looked at the squire, and Tom Kinsella, looking at \u2018em all three, burst into an involuntary fit of laughter. He couldn’t help it, the poor officials looked so comically bothered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The laugh did what perhaps just then nothin\u2019 else could have done. It cut the Gordian knot of misunderstandin\u2019 and brought about an explanation. And half an hour later the peculiar spectacle was presented of a judge drinkin\u2019 with an individual whom he had just sentenced, and of the two constables hobnobbin\u2019 with a fellow whom they had just arrested, while the obdurate culprit who preferred confinement to a fine was spendin\u2019 his money liberally on the very men to whom he had just refused to pay a dollar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Durin\u2019 the night the judge told Tom in confidence that just before he burst out laughin\u2019 he was on the point of offerin\u2019 to pay him a dollar out of his own pocket if he would leave the place. Tom Kinsella wrote up Hempstead, but at the earnest request of the officials there he let down on the squire and the constables as easy as he could, and said very little about the Hempstead jail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[Editor’s notes: Thomas Kinsella (1832-1884) was the editor of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle for many years, and also a United States Congressman representing New York’s 2nd District in the early 1870s.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      \u201cTom\u201d Kinsella, the late politician and journalist of Brooklyn,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,66,73,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brooklyn","category-judges","category-long-island","category-writers-and-editors"],"yoast_head":"\nTom Kinsella Tours the Hempstead Jail [published Mar. 8, 1885] - Harry Hill's Gotham<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jerrykuntz.org\/harryhill\/tom-kinsella-tours-the-hempstead-jail-published-mar-8-1885\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tom Kinsella Tours the Hempstead Jail [published Mar. 8, 1885] - 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